now let’s reason…………………………….

The uncontested facts:

After leaving the Tyson fight on Saturday September 7, 1996 Tupac was alledgedly shot 5 times.  He lived through the shooting and was taken to a nearby hospital.
He was pronounced dead on Friday September 13, 1996.

The suspicious facts:

Friday the 13th is a very suspicious day.

There were never any pictures released of Tupac in the hospital.

In the song “Life Goes On”, Tupac raps about his own funeral.

The driver of the car in which Tupac was riding, Suge Knight (the executive producer of Death Row Records), didn’t show up for questioning about the shooting.

The video “I ain’t Mad at Cha” was released only a few days after his death. “I ain’t Mad at Cha” is track 13 on the album All Eyes On Me. The video shows Tupac as an angel in heaven.  In the video, Tupac was shot after leaving a theater with a friend, which is very similar to how he was shot in real life. Interestingly, Tupac dies in his last video released under the name “Tupac”.  His new video “Toss It Up” from the new album was released under the name “Makaveli”.

The second video to be released by the name Makaveli is “To Live and Die in L.A.” But how could they shoot the second video when he is “dead”. Do you really think the video was shot 4 months ago, back in August of ’96? Think about it.

In the video “Hail Mary” released under the name Makaveli, there is a gravestone that says Makaveli.  But the gravestone is cracked and there is a hole right in front of it, inferring that Makaveli rose from the dead.

A shooting involving Snoop Doggy Dogg occured close to the release of his album Doggystyle.  The shooting made Snoop appear more “real” and showed his fans that he really was a gangsta.  The shooting gave him respect because everyone that bought his album believed what he was talking about.  Within one week of its release, Doggystyle went platnium.  Snoop is signed to the same label as Tupac which is Death Row Records. In December ’96, Tupac’s new album went platinum.

In interviews prior to the shooting, Tupac talked about how he wanted to stop rapping and being a gangsta and get out of the limelight.  What is the only way Tupac could completly escape the media spotlight ???  (Answer: if the public thought he was dead.)

There are no suspects for the shooting.

Press wasn’t going to be allowed at the funeral, but then the funeral was cancelled for unknown reasons.

Tupac always wore a bulletproof vest, no matter where he went.  Why didn’t he wear it to a very public event like a Tyson fight? (Because he wanted to make it seem like he could be shot.)

In most of his songs he talks about being buried, so why was he allegedly cremated the day after he “died”?  And since when do they cremate someone the day after death without an autopsy?  Furthermore, it is illegal to bury someone who has been murdered without an autopsy.

The new Tupac album released on Nov. 5, and was originally supposed to be an EP of 6 songs, but was then extended to a full length album of 12 songs.

Tupac’s alias is Makaveli. Though the spelling is different, Machiavelli was a 16th century italian philosopher who advocated the staging of one’s death in order to evade one’s enemies and gain power.

In Machiavelli’s book Discourses Upon the First Ten Books of Titus Livy, in Book 2 Chapter XIII he says “a prince who wishes to achieve great things must learn to deceive”.  This is Machiavelli’s main idea and is the connection between Tupac and the writings of Machiavelli.

The title of the new album by Makaveli (Tupac) is The 7 Day Theory.  He was shot on September 7th; and survived on the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, and”died” the 13th. Hence the title The 7 Day Theory.

Tupac’s album All Eyes on Me was released on Feb.13, 1996.  Tupac “died” on Sept.13, 1996.  It is quite a coincidence that the two dates are exactly 7 months apart.
Tupac officially died at 4:03 PM. 4+3 = 7 Also he “died” at an age of 25 years. 2+5 = 7 It seems as if seven is Tupac’s number.

There is nothing in the new album that says TUPAC RIP 1971-1996.  Wouldn’t it make sense to include something like that in the first album after his “death”? The only thing mentioned is “EXIT TUPAC ENTER MAKAVELI”.

The executive producer of The 7 Day Theory , as listed in the CD booklet of the album, is Simon (who is a previously unknown producer in the rap music industry).  In the bible, Simon was an apostle of Jesus.  Simon was one of the first witnesses of the Resurrection listed by Saint Paul (I Cor. 15: 5).   Could Simon be a reference to Suge Knight(the executive producer of Death Row records)? Simon was renamed “Peter, the rock” (John 1:42).

In Richie Rich’s album Seasoned Veteran, which was released on the same day as The 7 Day Theory, on the song “N*ggas Done Changed” which is a duet with Tupac, Tupac says the following lyrics: “I’ve been shot and murdered, can’t tell you how it happened word for word / but best believe that n*ggas’ gonna get what they deserve.”  This phrase implies that Tupac knows he will be dead when Richie Rich’s album is released.

In Makaveli’s (Tupac’s) song “White Man’s World” on album The 7 Day Theory, he says “We ain’t never gonna walk off this planet unless ya’ll choose to.” Did he choose to walk off the planet by faking his death?

In Tupac’s song “Ambitionz az a Ridah” on the album All Eyes On Me, he says ”Blast me but they didn’t finish, didn’t diminish my powers so now I’m back to be a muthaf*ckin’ menace, they cowards thats why they tried to set me up, had b*tch *ss n*ggas on my team so indeed they wet me up, BUT I’M BACK REINCARNATED.”  This implies that Tupac is reincarnated as Makaveli.

In Tupac’s song “Life of an Outlaw” on the album The 7 Day Theory, he says “All for the street fame on how to be managed, to plan sh*t, 6 months in advance to what we plotted, approved to go on swole and now I got it”-Life Of An Outlaw. This implies that Tupac planned his “death” in advance and now he is enjoying the success of his plan.

In Tupac’s song “Made Niggaz” from the Supercop Soundtrack, he says “F*ck ‘em all who don’t understand my plot to get richer… Outlaw to the grave, a muthaf*ckin’ made nigga I got a plan to get richer. Take my picture.” Once again he mentions his “plan” to get rich.

In E-40′s album Hall Of Game in the song “Million Dollar Spot” which is a duet with Tupac, Tupac says, “Fans can’t understand my ghetto slang, so i evade and plot and plan a life of better things….”  Once again Tupac mentions his “plan”.

In Tupac’s song “Ain’t Hard 2 Find” on the album All Eyes On Me, he says “I heard rumors I died, murdered in cold blood, tramatized pictures of me in my final states, you know momma cryed, but that was fiction, some coward got the story twisted.”  It seems as if Tupac foretold the future.

Scarface’s song “Smile”, which is a duet with Tupac, was supposedly recorded in September of ’96, before Tupac was “shot”. But the video for the song was released in May of ’97 and the video depicts Tupac rapping while he appears to be crucified. At the end of the video, Tupac falls off the cross and stands up…which is another image of resurection. Towards the end of the video, it becomes slightly apparent that Tupac is actually portrayed by a look-alike. I still wonder, if he is really dead, then why do they keep making everyone so suspicious???

In the video for “I Wonder if Heaven Got a Ghetto” the town it takes place in is called Rukahs. “Rukahs” spelled backwards is “Shakur”.  The room he goes into with the girl is room number 7. The clock in the background at the end is at 4:03…the same time he officially died. More funny stuff from the video producers. My question still remains, why?

In Tupac’s song “No More Pain” on the album All Eyes On Me, he says “A heart of a soldier with the brains to teach a whole nation.” Could this be a reference to Machievelli or Jesus?

On the cover of The 7 Day Theory, there is a picture of Tupac being crucified.  This fits with the idea that Tupac “died” so he could be reincarnated as Makaveli. In the picture, there are five bullet holes. Interestingly, Tupac was “shot” 5 times.

The only witness to the shooting, Yafeu Fula, was found shot to death on Nov. 10th in a hallway of an apartment building in East Orange, NJ.  Hmm…now no one will get any info out of him.

After the shooting of Notorious B.I.G. on March 9th, 1997 Lieutenant Wayne Petersen of the the homicide division of the Las Vegas Police Department who has been investigating Shakur’s alleged killing said, “Before yesterday, I had never even heard of the Notorious B.I.G.  There is no link between the two murders. We think the only connection is in the minds of the media. The media wants to connect the two.”  If you asked anyone who knows anything about the Tupac case, they would say something about the rivalry between Biggie and Tupac. How will the Las Vegas police ever solve the case if they don’t know the basics? The answer is that they won’t. C’mon guys, that is pretty pathetic.

According to my friend Roger as well as numerous other sources, in the first three seconds of The 7 Day Theory, the words “Suge shot me” are spoken very softly. Check it out for yourself, but that certainly is suspicious and it must mean something.

According to Neal, on the song “Thug Luv” which is a duet with Tupac on Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s double CD Art Of War after Tupac says “whuz poppin’ n*gga”, Bizzy Bone can be heard saying “He’s Alive He’s Alive He’s Alive” in the background.

During an interview, an ABC correspondent asked Suge Knight, “If you knew who killed Tupac, would you tell the police?”. Suge answered, “Absolutely not.”

On November 25, 1997 a new 2 Pac album will be released on Jive Records called R U Still Down. It is being released under the name “2 Pac” not “Makaveli”. This implies many things…does this mean that “2 pac” is back?

I have heard there is a “new” artist called “Blac Haze”. The song that I have heard by them is called “Let Me Holla At Cha”.
In the video “Heaven Gotta Ghetto”, the license plate of the car that he gets in with the older man reads “61671″. Another obvious occurance of the number seven and the sum of seven (6+1).

This bit of info comes from Michael Penn: In the CD booklet of the “R U Still Down” album the it is written “Keep the faith in me I wont let u down…love 2pac”. Can he be advising us not to dwell on his “death” because he is coming back?

This comes from Mike Frankel: If you rearrange the letters in the album title “Makaveli The Don Killuminati The 7Day Theory” You can make the sentence “Ok on tha 7th u think I’m dead yet I’m really alive”. Mike explains “7th meaning the 7th day after he was shot, he supposedly died but is really alive.” That’s quite amazing, try it for yourself.

Doesn’t all this sound a bit too ridiculous, although there is no specific fact that makes my theory valid, there is nothing the obviously disproves it, but it all adds up to something, there must be something funny going on.  Don’t you think?    Well Theres More.

Many rumours have told that Tupac is alive and was faking his own death for his security. Here are a couple of theories why rapper and entertainer Tupac Amaru Shakur isn`t dead.

1. 2pac died on Friday the 13th…

2. Las Vegas is a payoff City…meaning all sorts of folks have been known to be on the take…that means doctors, press, lawyers etc.

3. The car that the assailants were using during the drive-by shooting a white cadillac was never found for some strange reason…How could this be when Las Vegas is in the middle of a desert?

4. There is a small Black community on the North side of town…This strip is only about 8 blocks long…The attackers were black…Where did they go ? Where did they hide ?

5. The white cadillac containing the gunmen passes a entourage of 2pacs boys…many of them body guards…No one gives chase…and there are no witness…There were no witness on the street…How come? Why not?

6. 2pac has changed his artist name to Makaveli…He was an Italian war strategist who thought about faking his own death to fool his enemies…Tupac admired Machiavelli and he had read his classic book “The Prince”. Tupac maybe took Machiavellis thougts to reality and faked his own death?

7. The cover off Makavelis new album has him on a cross and looking like Jesus Christ…Could he be planning a resurrection ?

8. Las Vegas is in the middle of a desert…How come there was no helicopter chase…If someone was to rob a casino The LVPD would have chased you down with some helicopters… How come this did not happen with Tupacs shooting?

9. Mr.Shakur was cremeated the day after he died…Since when does somebody get creamated the day after a murder…There was no autospy.

10. There was no ballistic tests…At least we have not heard about them.

11. Las Vegas is still very much a mob town…No one gets killed on the strip…You have to pretty much get permission in order for something like this to happen…Who was calling the shots on this one…Maybe BadBoy Records, Mobb Deep, Nas or The Crips…Lord Knows?

12. Tupacs vehicle got shot 12 times and Suge did not get hit once…He was grazed by a bullet…Why did Tupac get shot all those times and Suge not get hit?

13. Suge said he drove Tupac to the hospital and they had a coherent conversation ? How bad was Tupac hit ? In addition to all this…There are conflicting stories claiming that Quincy Jones daughter was in the back off the car…and then she was not…What is the deal for all this?

14. A police communication supervisor who identified herself as Mrs.Coleman said “the rapper will survive”…Why did she make that statement…I mean you don`t go out and tell people that Tupac is going to survive if it isn`t a very clear case that Tupac is going to survive…Otherwise you don`t make a statement like that.

15. Tupac has completed 2 movies and 3 lps that have yet to be realesed…With so many people upset about Shakurs demise…literally anything connected with him is bound to net a whole lot off money…

16. Suge Knight and 2pac are the only two music industry people on that high profile with enough balls to pull off a stunt like faking death…

17. Tupacs video “I ain´t mad at ya” foretold his death…

18. Tupacs age is 25(2+5=7), he was shot on the 7th september, the shooting took place seven months after release of “All eyez on me”, he died at 4.03 pm (4+3=7), Tupac died on the seventh day in the hospital, and it is more but I don´t have time to write down the rest but all of these numbers is ending up with 7. Is this the reason why the Makaveli record is called “the don killuminati the 7 day theory”.

19. Tupac was planning to leave Deathrow at the time of the shooting…

20. Tupac and his gang were involved in a fight earlier that night with a Crip member called Orlando Anderson. The Bloods and the Crips are two rival gangs. Maybe there was some gang involvement in the shooting.

21. There is also a rumour that Mobb Deep was in Las Vegas that night and saw the fight. Nas had a beef with Tupac at the Mtv Awards and you know how tight Nas and Mobb Deep are.

22. If you listen carefully at the intro of the Makaveli record you will hear a low voice sayin “Suge shot me” could Suge somehow be involved, was he the real target behind the shooting because of his connections with the Bloods, but the question is still why Tupac got shot all those times and Suge not. Maybe Suge set Tupac up just to get more albums sold?

23. Tupac always wore a bulletproof vest but for some strange reason he didn`t wear one the night of the shooting…Why not?

24. The memorial services that were open to the public were cancelled in both Los Angeles and Atlanta…

25. One week after Tupacs death over 1000 people called the cops in Haiti and said that they saw Tupac there…

26. Biggie or Notorious B.I.G a New York rapper who represents Bad Boy records was murdered in Los Angeles almost at the same way Tupac was. Was this murder connected with Tupacs murder. Maybe a revenge?

27. On the Makaveli record the producers name is Simon. That´s kind of strange because Suge Knights name has been standing on every Death row record as a producer. On the Makaveli record you see Tupac crusified on a cross, like Jesus. Simon was the name of a guy who helped Jesus carry the cross. Could Suge Knight be Simon?

28. At the MTV Music Awards in New York Tupac surrounded himself with bodyguards and he also had a walkie talkie in his hand as security. He knew that death was around the corner… A coupple of members of the Deathrow family including Tupac also came into a conflict with another group of men at the awards including Nas…police were called to break it up…but before the police had entered the scene Deathrows CEO Marion “Suge” Knight officialy slapped Nas…

ONLY Kenyans …….

1. Are engaged for 5 years or more

2. Never bother to divorce, they just separate

3. Are late to church, work, and everything else EXCEPT when the disco is free before 9pm

4. Refer to diabetes as ‘SUGAR’

5. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation, birthday parties with a new outfit on with nails and hair done but no gift

6. In relation to #5, they eat like parking boys and take a plate home

7. Consider ‘clubbing’ or ‘henging’ as a monthly expense

8. Leave bills (instead of insurance money) behind for surviving relatives.

9. Borrow money for a wedding.

10. Have mothers who can use curse words and religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE e.g. “Lord, give me strength because I’m about to knock the hell out of this child”

11. spend the car insurance money on everything EXCEPT getting the dent fixed.

12. invite co-workers and all of their friends to their child’s 1st birthday party which happens to have a professional DJ with only about 3 kid (including the child) in attendance. And then expect the guests to “changa” for the bash.

13. Start every sentence with “Me I…”e.g. “ME I donno why you are saying that I always say ‘Me I’.

14. Say ‘Spend’ when they are staying the night elsewhere from home, e.g. “Are you going to spend at her place?”

15. Put in iron rods in all windows and main doors …referring to them as ”Burglar”

16. Use “Ngai” as an exclamation mark e.g. “Ngai, what are you doing?”

17. Believe “Ati” is an English word for “What?”

18. Think it is cool to drink and drive and get away with it “I don’t know how I got home that day..the way I was soo drunk!”

19. Think all their economic and social problems are caused by “Kibaki” when in fact some have never been to school.

20. Pack up all their earthly goods to go to “shaggs” for a week in December, only to pack them all back again after that one week and return to “Tao”

21. Call travelling “flying out” e.g. She flew out (no one ever seems to wonder where all these Kenyans fly to)

22. Think that taking a clerical job in a company is better and “cooler” than toiling in their parents’ family business.

23. Prefer washing cars and dishes in USA to toiling in their 20-acre tea farms in Kenya .

24. Call their homes “at ours”. e.g., “At ours, we eat Githeri every day”

25. Complain for five years about poor governance and corruption then vote in the same clowns back to parliament.

26. Have a chief Justice who has no law degree!

27. Go on strike for one day and expect the govt. to resign!

28. Sit back in their homes and expect their MP to “bring Development”

29. Refuse to insure against anything and expect you to bankroll them when calamity strikes… thro’ Harambee.

30. Sit calmly and sometimes cheer as a mad man drives them in a ramshackle at breakneck speed to certain death.

31. Drive with their windows wound up when they get to city centre because of 4-year-old brats armed with human feaces, and still claim to be free people!

“Wairimu, are you here?”

“I am here husband, and I will never leave you”

“Kamau, are you here?”

“I am here father, and I will never leave you.”

“Wanjiku, are you here?”

“I am here father, and I will never leave you.”

“So, if you are all here who is at the shop???”

I recently paid a visit to a Luo’s hao and ended up
not having anything to drink despite the offer.

Below is how the offer was made:

Question: “what would you like to have – fruit,
juice, soda, tea, chocolate, milo or coffee?

Answer: “Tea please”

Question: ” Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey
Bush tea, Ice tea or Green tea?”

Answer: ” Ceylon tea”

Question: “How would you like it? black or white?”

Answer: “White”

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed Milk?”

Answer: “With Milk”

Question: “Goat Milk, camel milk, cow milk?”

Answer: “with cow milk please”

Question: “Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner
cow?”

Answer: “Jatelo, I will take it black.”

Question: “Would you like it with sweetener, sugar
or honey?”

Answer: “With Sugar”

Question: “Beet sugar or cane sugar?”

Answer: “Cane sugar”

Question: “White, brown or yellow sugar?”

Answer: “Jowa! Forget about tea just give me a
glass of water instead.”

Question: “Mineral water or still water?”

Answer: “Mineral water”

Question: “Flavored or non-flavored?”

Answer: “Gee!! I give up just forget about
everything

Seriousl???

Aiiiii….yawa! eeh…..

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): “Be not deceived; God is not
mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON :
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

“Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about
that. I am certain. Jesus was OK, but his subjects were too simple, Today
we are more famous than Him” (1966). Lennon , after saying that the Beatles
were more famous than Jesus Christ , was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil ):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his
party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President,
then he died.

CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During a show in Cane cão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette,
he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:
“God, that’s for you.”
He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:
After the construction of Ti tanic, a reporter asked him how safe the
Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said:
“Not even God can sink it”
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE :
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said
the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the
Preacher had to say, she said:
“I don’t need your Jesus .”
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT :
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
“Don’t stop me, I’m going down all the way, down the highway to hell.”
On the 19th of February 1980 , Bon Scott was found dead, he had been
choked by his own vomit.

CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005
In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the
drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter – holding her
hand, who was already seated in the car:
“MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU.”
She responded:
“ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT , CAUSE INSIDE HERE IT’S ALREADY
FULL “
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident,
everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had
been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact. The police said there was no
way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the
boot was a crate of eggs, none were broken…..
Boot means trunk.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that
was given so much authority as the name o f Jesus . Many have died but
only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

JESUS !!!

P.S: If it was a joke, you could have sent it to everyone. So are you
going to have courage to send this?. I have done my part, Jesus said
“If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you
before my father.”

What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses his
soul? What can man give in exchange for his soul? ( Matthew 16:26

1. Cancer

There is a lot of unfounded rhetoric that states smoking pot can cause lung cancer because your inhaling smoke, like cigarettes. This simply isn’t true. Cigarette smoke causes cancer because the tobacco is radiated whereas marijuana isn’t. In fact, the American Association for Cancer Research has found the marijuana actually works to slow down tumor growth in the lungs, breasts, and brain considerably.

2. Seizures

Marijuana is a muscle relaxant and has “antispasmodic” qualities which have proven to be a very effective treatment of seizures. There are actually countless cases of people suffering from seizures that have only been able to function better through the use of marijuana.

3. Migraines

Since medicinal marijuana was legalized in California, doctors have reported that they have been able to treat more than 300,000 cases of migraines that conventional medicine couldn’t through marijuana. And that’s NOT just because it’s easy to fake having migraines, right? RIGHT?!

4. Glaucoma

Marijuana’s treatment of glaucoma has been one of the best documented. There isn’t a single valid study that exists that disproves marijuana’s very powerful and popular effects on glaucoma patients. Beat that, DEA!

5. Multiple Sclerosis

Marijuana’s effects on multiple sclerosis patients became better documented when former talk-show host, Montel Williams began to use pot to treat his MS. Marijuana works to stop the neurological effects and muscle spasms that come from the fatal disease.

6. Tourette’s and OCD

Just like marijuana can treat seizures and multiple sclerosis, marijuana’s effects slow down the tics in those suffering from Tourette’s, and the obsessive neurological symptoms in people with OCD.

7. ADD and ADHD

A well documented USC study done about a year ago showed that marijuana is not only a perfect alternative for Ritalin but treats the disorder without any of the negative side effects of the pharmaceutical.

8. IBS and Crohn’s

Marijuana has shown that it can help with symptoms of the chronic diseases as it stops nausea, abdominal pain, and diarrhea.

9. Alzheimer’s

Despite what you may have heard about marijuana’s effects on the brain, the Scripps Institute, in 2006, proved that the THC found in marijuana works to prevent Alzheimer’s by blocking the deposits in the brain that cause the disease.

10. Premenstrual Syndrome

Next time your girlfriend is complaining that you smoke too much weed, hand her a joint. Just like marijuana is used to treat IBS, it can be used to treat the cramps and discomfort that causes your girlfriend to lash out at you. Using marijuana for PMS actually goes all the way back to Queen Victoria. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

So now that you’ve read through all this, can you really let anyone convince you of a need for marijuana rehab? I think we’ve made a pretty good case that marijuana IS rehab! It is also highly recommended that you check out The Union (for free!), a great documentary made by Brett Harvey.

TEA POT/ MARIJUANA TEA

At such a young age, why was she in debt (Millions we hear?)? Well she wasn’t running a business. She was not living large (her parents were paying for her apartment). She was financing a man’s life.

Yes, at her age, while her agemates were busy trying to get free ‘panty removers’ from dudes in Westlands, this young lass was financing a man’s life and not JUST any man, a man who has been working for well over 10 years, a man who at one point was the ‘Biggest name’ in Kenya. A man whose lifestyle was the talk of town, the flashy cars, the amazing suits, some women FELL for him just by his expensive scents.

That man is Louis Otieno. Louis met the girl when she was living with her parents in the same apartment blocks he used to live in. Her parents eventually moved her to other apartments to try and kill a clearly blossoming relationship.

The Deceased: Careen Kili.

This dude somehow convinced the mama to start borrowing money for him since he was now broke & jobless and everything he was trying out was falling flat on its face.

He lives large, a RR Sport, Supercharged, on the best for an Omera! WATISMANI?! But he wasn’t paying for that shit, someone else was hustling for loans for him and now she’s dead.

She was found dead in her apartment; sources close to the family say it looks like suicide. She couldn’t deal with it anymore; she got into serious debt for a man who clearly didn’t care for her. Louis is hiding somewhere; no one knows where he is. That little leech should be jailed for this fuckery, for being a catalyst to this whole mess!! You’re fucking 40 and you’re living off someone who is barely out of their 20’s … how twisted!?!

Also girls in Nai need to stop being attracted to the ‘Glitter’ you see a man in a nice car, you fall for him. No background checks, nothing! You end up being their slave, because you’re blinded by the lifestyle.

** ROLL DOWN TOU YOU ** KISS BEFORE YOU READ
** “P D N F’— please do no fold
Roll down to you sweetie pie Babe!
wassapangalaz!!! Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalysis goes in reverse gear. My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you! may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That’s why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven’t finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don’t let those bed bugs ever bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Ever,
Sugar honeypie

 
Reply

My Decamost Sugar honeypie,

** ROLL DOWN TOU YOU ** KISS BEFORE YOU READ
** ‘ P D N F’— please do no fold
! My Love, My Sugar, i was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when i have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why i am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to makeit schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart.
My honie, i am missing you v! ery much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that i write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then i would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then i know that i will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Curry sanged it, you know that it is my favorites song honie, the one day that we were boarding the combies and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.
If words! of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against Diego Maradona. Anyways, i will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea.
My dedications to you are :
Maria Curry – One Sweet Day.
Boys to Main – And of the Rod
Keep well my mop of my heart,
Yours in flesh and in blood, Wakaguku
P.S. Sorry about my english, I did not learn anymore

Equity bank has now improved its state of the art ATMs that are programmed in Kikuyu!

The Kamba version is coming soon the delay is due to the complicated KAMBA ALPHABET!

The ATMs have rejected the Luo and Luhya version therefore an expert has to be brought in from UK to solve the problem.

The Kikuyu service goes like this ” Urenda mbeca cigana “, options are -Kamfifty? -Igana? -Kiamatano? -Ngiri? ona kana -mbao? Ino ni fengi yaathini, tiga thooooni…….thura tu!

If you put the wrong code, you get this message, -Tiga wana, ni ngumeria kadi yaku.

If you key in more money than you have, – i kai mundu uyu urenda atia, tiga uichi, andika mbeca iria ui winacio

When it asks you to key in your pin number – theca namba cia mbini wakorwo niuraciririkana. Akorwo ni atm kadi ya mundu uiyite na riu ni kungesi namba, io kadi nongumeria!!

When you have no funds. -uumuthi eitha ukuinuka maguru kana umenye kuria ukuiya mbeca. Wiriga kuiga mbeca ri?? nikii? kai utari thoni? Inuka!

When you just want to know the balance. -balansi yaku ni fifty, urutite nginya depositi na riu no thitima na maratathi ma Equity urahuthira, kwananga! CONOKA MUNO!!

When you have withdrawn some cash & you do not require a receipt. -oooo kumbe niwamenya ndunatigia ona dururu!!!! ha ha ha!!!!!!

GO FOR IT………..THE MOST USER FRIENDLY BANK

Kind regards,

James Mwangi

CEO EQUITY BANK